The words were directed at me, so how could they not be personal? As I said before, you've got me thinking about doing a post on this question itself. We discussed the idea that adolescents often criticize their parents in an effort to feel more separate from them.Eventually Arthur was able to ask her about it without seeming critical or angry at her. When you take things personally, you feel offended and disrespected. In fact, since I believed that therapists were not supposed to get upset with their clients, both my sensitivity and my irritation seemed to me to indicate a major inadequacy on my part.I discussed my concerns with my supervisor, who did not seem to share my My supervisor told me that my reactions were understandable, but that there was probably another way to look at my client's behavior. Don’t make assumptions. I hope this helps a little. The issue is two-fold in that 1. "In just the past week I have heard echoes of this question more times than I can count. Since I was just starting out, I was very sensitive about how I appeared. Surely not.

But they could only get there when he could recognize that what she said had much more to do with her than it did with him. She said, "No, of course not!" Nothing others do is because of you. Always do your best. Personally is an adverb, used to describe an action. Her grandfather had recently been ill, and she was frightened that her father would succumb, too. The words were directed at me, so how could they not be personal? On Accepting COVID Restrictions: An Historical Pespective Did I look professional enough? By not taking them personally, Arthur was able to have an extremely important conversation with his daughter. "I don't like smokers" a more gentle way which will not hurt the self respect of the listener, could be:Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Do seek to know if you could develop your management and leadership. I tend to leap to the interpretation that smart remarks or less-than-conscientious behaviors are glaring red flags of an imminent breakup. Wondering if this was a phenomenon exclusive to my own clients, I searched the Psychology Today website for the phrase "taking it personally" and found an eight page list of blogs and articles. But please, please don’t drop that soul-crushing curtain of “it’s not personal.” Yes, if you take work personally, you will get hurt along the way. Your own experience thus indicates that success seems to be linked to taking your work personally.But this is not just about nuanced language and personal psychology; it is also about real business results.

*Names and other identifying information have been changed to protect privacy of individuals and families.I love this post. During infancy and early This ability to recognize that someone else has a different perspective is a little different from That's when we end up taking things personally, even though in reality they reflect something about the other person, not us.When I was a young therapist, I had a client who started every session with a criticism of something I was wearing or something about my office.

The team leader was feeling let down and annoyed.“I guess the conclusion I have come to,” he said, “is that I just mustn’t take this personally.”It’s a sentiment we have all often heard in work contexts: “Don’t take it personally” or “Hey, it’s not personal, it’s business.” I’ve heard it said about feedback, conflict, difficult conversations, restructuring, losing deals, collaboration, dealing with career ups and downs — all kinds of daily workplace issues.Work is the place where I’m going to spend the bulk of my waking hours — indeed, the bulk of my life — and yet I’m not supposed to take it personally?

But do be disappointed. But as I thought about it, I remembered something else this young woman frequently said. To not love at all so as to never be heartbroken? All rights reserved. It's a great one!e.g. She flung her arms around him and said that she had been worried - he had looked so tired that day. "I know I'm not supposed to take it personally," he said, "but she was talking about me. And at the same time, could she be checking to see how I reacted when she said these things to me? Your reaction is either to defend yourself or submit passively. After a brief silence she added quietly that she hadn't realized it, but she could see that what she said could have sounded mean. For example, if your partner gets mad at you for being late all the time, and if you actually are always late, maybe there's something you have to figure out about yourself and your behavior. Thanks for posting it. How else should I take it? )At any rate, looking at these behaviors from a point of view that says there are two people here, and many ways of understanding any interaction, most of which have nothing to do with you, can help you start to see red flags in a particular relationship.

And when we consider the Then there’s ethics. "And that would be horrible," she said. Consider the connection between engaged employees and business performance.
They had a brief but meaningful conversation about her fears about loss and death - his, her mother's, and her own. Your life and your career are not defined by this.
It’s when executives and teams adopt the mindless notion of “it’s not personal, it’s business” that they absolve themselves of their responsibilities as social actors, custodians of the planet, and guardians of the well-being of their employees, customers, and communities.For these reasons and more, it seems clear to me that if we are to fulfill our responsibilities and obligations as executives — and our potential as leaders — we need to take things deeply personally. I was recently working with a leader who had just lost a much-valued employee to a competitor.


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