Child: “A gun.” FACEPALM.“Get your hand out of your pants…no don’t smell your hand. We don’t lick our shoes, the carpet, the walls or our friends. Some people just never recover.What do you mean you are going to name your children Donald and Trump?Every fifth grader is to go home today and tell your parents that you need to start wearing deodorant.If you feel flatulence coming on, please remove yourself to outside the room until it passes. One day in an afternoon Algebra I class, I heard a teacher tell the kids, “Stop laughing! Teachers repeat themselves and have some go to quotes that they like to think work in the classroom but what are they actually saying? I had told my students he wasn’t himself lately and I would bring him back as soon as he was back to normal. OMG.“What are you doing? We asked teachers from across the country to tell us what has been the most unusual thing they have said in the classroom and here are some of their candid and amusing responses.14. Michigan public schools are a month and a half away from welcoming kids back to classes for the traditional post-Labor Day start. Have you eaten them?? At the bus stop, a little boy, by the name of Mark,  was brandishing a stick at her. That’s called a fart. Ms. Rod. Please do not eat your friend. Boy: “I peed!” Me: “Did you wash your hands?” Boy looks down at both hands. Now go back in the bathroom and turn your pants around.”  ~Sara S.“I don’t care that you are having fun, you are not allowed to poke people with pencils.”  ~Kris W.Put the fake boob on my desk and leave it alone.”  ~Tracy B.“Just because your finger fits in your nose doesn’t mean you should put it there.”  ~Erin M.“Please don’t put cards in your panties.”  ~Cindy B.“What are you doing? “No, that is NOT a dead animal, that is ‘so-and-so’s’ hairpiece.”  ~Kimberly S.“we do not lick the fence” … “Why are you biting the trash can?”… “yes you may play with the doll house, but no hanging the dolls today.”We pee in the toilet, not in the drain. I don’t know if you’ll poop it out, and I’m not googling it.”“What did you do with the sticker in your crotch?”….”Please pick the crotch stick up off the floor and throw it in the garbage!”“Ok, find a partner and decide which one of you is going to be the sperm, and which one will be the egg”Left my children waiting for me by the clothes recycling bin, came out to “X (11 year old boy) tried on a bra!” Me: “Oh. Actually, now that I think about it, adolescence is a disease. Now please tell me the answer.Haha, I tell them they’re not in their beds, so sit up!JessicaHamilton1 I actually had a first grader glue herself to a chair once. '”“No, you may not stab your partner with the plastic knife.”  To seventh graders!” It is not ok to shake your privates around in the boys bathroom” -J.ThurstonTeaching early head start, laying on the floor playing with the children one sits on my head “did you poop? Please take it back and go put it on!While talking to a first grader, “Quit playing with your monkey! : I had asked everyone several times to stop and put the p.e. Repeat after me “I will not put medal in the pencil sharpener.” Now let me demonstrate how to properly use the pencil sharpener. (I wish I was making that up)Quit messing around and read your playboy…we were reading The Outsiders and the main character is PONYBOY. Your nose knows it’s not the place it goes!Don’t put your finger in your eye. “The donkeys are eating the butterfly garden!”  ~April Z.35. I walked to her backpack, opened it up and saw a 5 week old kitten cliging to the bottom of her pack looking scared and ill from the swinging of the pack on the hook. Go get a tissue!You’re suppose to pee in the urinal your in front of not someone else’s.Don’t put your finger up your nose. 50 Strange Things Teachers Say


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